Article

Near – death and coma communication

We have learned a great deal about the dying process over the years and there are numerous books describing what can happen. We know that the experience of dying can be incredibly wonderful and also confusing and distressing to all concerned. The dying process can take a longer time than we might expect and the grief of losing a loved one can begin long before death occurs. Sitting at their bedside and experiencing the often weird and wonder things that can occur can leave us feeling helpless, lost and not knowing what to do or how to support our loved one. When verbal communication ceases it feels like they have already left us.

Research suggests that the dying have a rich inner life and benefit from assistance on a psychological and spiritual dimension. Process Oriented Psychology (Process Work) provides a method for connecting with and assisting those who are dying even when verbal communication has gone. When the use of words becomes limited Process Work teaches us how to use touch and breath to communicate with the dying, picking up on the tiniest of signals from the person. Specific training is provided to ensure the touching is safe and effective.

I once sat with a man who had been in coma for a couple of days and was close to dying. I noticed that he was alone a lot with little family to visit him. On going into the room I introduced myself saying that I was going to sit with him for a while. I put my hand on his wrist and started to pace his breathe while at the same time letting him know what I was doing. I was touched to see a tear roll down his cheek as if in acknowledgement of the rightness of this contact for him.

There is a belief in Process Work that altered state experiences, such as those near death, are of value and hold potential meaning for the individual. Like coma, near death experiences such as delirium, hallucinations, depression and anxiety are a normal part of the dying process. While these experiences can be seen as being possible side effects of medication Process Work views these phenomena as the dying person’s way of finishing off unresolved issues and preparing for whatever comes next. Because we don’t know what do or how to interact with the dying person we tend to leave them to their own devises.

The skills that Process Work provides, means that the dying person need not be alone. They provide us with a way to stay in communication with the dying person empowering them to stay in control of their lives, their medication as well as life and death decisions. Assisting the dying means that relationship or family issues may arise that need resolving. The Process Worker is trained to assist with these issues.
Assisting the dying means we need to need to develop an awareness our own inner states of consciousness and be able to catch the smallest feedback signals from the dying person such as a twitch, a tiny movement, a slight shift in breath, a sound.

I have taught many palliative care workers and family members the Process Work approach to near death and dying . They have found it relieving and surprising. One hospice volunteer writes:
“I want to tell you how much I enjoyed, appreciated and benefited from the seminar you gave. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. For me there were so many new perspectives to embrace, so much that was stimulating and exciting and best of all deeply satisfying because it gave voice to something I knew on some level but had not yet been able to articulate.

For training in near death and coma communication using Process Work approach click on Workshops
Visit www.comacommunication.com for further information about Process Work and coma care.